How to Fire Someone from Your Church with Compassion

Dealing with the difficult task of letting go of an employee can be quite challenging for any leader. Even with careful planning, it’s never an easy process. When it comes to church staff, the situation is even more complex due to the interconnected relationships, requiring a high level of sensitivity and thoughtfulness in handling the situation. Additionally, firing someone from your church is often not a one-size-fits-all circumstance, so each moment requires much attention and focus. Here is a list of how to fire someone from your church with compassion:

Before You Fire Someone from Your Church:

Give Them a Fair Heads-Up

Being blindsided and losing a job could be a very traumatic and damaging experience. One of the ways you can display a great deal of compassion as an employer is by giving a fair heads-up:

• If the employee is having performance troubles, kindly tell them.
• Offer them a full understanding of the expectations for their role.
• Gently explain how they’re not currently hitting the mark.
• Create a performance improvement plan with their help and input.

A great way to show compassion and kindness is to include the employee in the process. If they aren’t meeting goals or expectations, let them know, but then include them in the solution. This prevents you from coming down heavy-handed and gives them a sense of ownership in turning things around.

Note: Offering a heads-up may not apply when someone is fired for moral failure or a dangerous situation. For example, if an employee is stealing money from the church, you will not give them a heads-up. They would simply be fired.

Provide Support to Help Them Succeed

Now that you’ve established a plan for their improvement and overall success, it’s time to support them. If you can provide resources, do so:

• Does the employee need additional training? Provide any and every training necessary for their success.
• Are they struggling with time or task management? Sit down with them and help them develop the necessary skills to improve.

Whatever the plan, you are their number one supporter and cheerleader. Walk side by side with them through the improvement process. Lead them well. Do everything you can to help them succeed, but do not lower the standard.

Remain Connected

Relational connection is critical at this time. Instead of pulling away, draw close to let them know that you still support them and believe in them. If you don’t already know what’s happening in their personal life, get to know them on this level too. This will give you a full-picture understanding of things contributing to their poor performance. Now is the time to connect at a greater level and not pull away or create distance.

When It’s Time to Fire Someone From Your Church:

Seek Outside Counsel and Advice

After putting a performance plan in place and supporting the staff member, you may still have to make a final decision. Don’t do this alone. Your connection to the story may cloud your judgment (both in favor of or against the employee).

Ask an outside leader that you trust for advice and input. Share the full story with them and each step taken thus far. Allow them to speak into the situation and help you point out any blindspots you may have.

Ultimately, the decision to fire someone is yours to make as the employer but bringing someone else into the picture can be a very compassionate attempt to see every possible side of the situation before acting.

Plan the Conversation

Now that you’ve decided that it’s time to fire the employee, plan out the conversation. Carefully determine what needs to be said … and what does not need to be shared in that conversation.

For example:

“We’re letting you go today because your performance is still not up to the standard that it needs to be. Here are some examples …”

Be clear, brief, and kind. You don’t need to share a list of personality issues that are also troublesome or personal life management skills that are lacking. Make this about their performance in the role and nothing else.

Create a Plan for Communication

Whenever you fire someone from your church or organization, other employees then need to know. Create a plan on how you can best inform the necessary people once the decision is made and the person has been let go.

When making this plan, keep in mind that not everyone even needs to know that the employee was fired. One of the ways you can offer a lot of compassion is by protecting the story as much as possible. If you must inform others of the situation, only share what needs to be shared.

Withholding unnecessary details is a kind way to protect their reputation, personal lives, and overall relational standing with others.

After You Have Fired Someone from Your Church:

Remain in Relationship (As Much as They’ll Allow)

Resist the temptation to cut off your relationship with someone you’ve just fired due to the awkwardness that may exist. Instead, remain in relationship as much as they’ll allow. In the long run, this will show them you love and care for them. You didn’t just have a relationship with them because of the role they filled, but you had a relationship because you cared about them.

Additionally, understand that being fired, no matter how much you may deserve it, is a painful experience. You do not need to add to the pain by cutting them off relationally.

Provide Support

After someone is fired, they’re going to need support. Depending on the nature of their firing, support could look like severance to help them until they find a job or guaranteeing a good reference on future job searches. Whatever you can do to support them through the process within reason, do it. You want them to understand that you care about them whether they were successful in their role or not and you can put this on full display by supporting them through. 

Whew, take a deep breath. If you’ve made it this far and must fire someone from your church, I’m sorry. When you’ve reached the point of terminating someone from their position at your church, it’s undoubtedly a difficult and serious decision.

While you can’t control how the person will react to being fired, it’s important to handle the situation compassionately. This means taking extra steps to support the individual throughout the entire process. To fire someone from your church is a task that should not be taken lightly, and it’s essential to approach it with care and empathy.