Scandal. Church collapse. Broken trust. Tragedy. Betrayal. These are just some of the words that come to mind when we think about a moral failing in a ministry team. Unfortunately, this is far more common than any of us would like it to be. For those of us who have experienced this in any capacity, we know that the questions “Why?” and “How?” certainly come to mind. It’s never an easy path to walk with someone, especially someone from your own team. We are offering 7 things that you can do when you find yourself having to address a moral failing on your ministry team:
1. Have a pre-set plan
No one wants to plan for this. Honestly, most of us would love for it to just never happen. The truth is, however, that it can happen with anyone at any time. No matter how fantastic of a leader you may have on your team, we are all first human and susceptible to sin. So, one of the first lines of defense for dealing with a moral failing in your ministry team is to have a plan ahead of time. Create a strategy for how these things will be handled. Then, no matter what happens, you already know how to deal with it when you aren’t in the thick of the emotional pull. When handling moral failings with someone you know, love, and have trusted, it can be easy to let your relationship blind your vision.
In addition, your team needs to know this plan. This helps them know what will happen if they ever find themselves in this position. In addition, it helps the team know what to do if they ever experience this with their leader specifically and need to step in.
2. Seek the truth
It’s important to look for the truth. Often, out of shame, people will only admit to what they have to. So, it’s important that you look for the full picture instead of just taking them at their word. This will help you and your team to act accordingly and not be blindsided by more later on. Lastly, the complete truth is the only way that the person involved can actually find full freedom. Jesus tells us in John 8:32, “…the truth will set you free.”
3. Get outside help
If someone on your team has had a moral failing, find a trusted outside person or leader to help you see the full picture. When you involve someone who is disconnected from the impacted sphere, they’ll be able to offer a more objective view that isn’t tangled in emotions or personal feelings. It’s easy to have blind spots in these situations, so getting perspective from an outside voice will help expose those.
4. Operate in grace
Remember that God’s heart towards all of us is restoration and healing. Our hearts towards others should always be the same. This particular failing isn’t indicative of a person’s entire life, but it is representative of this specific moment in time. Offer the individual resources and support to help them get the necessary help they need.
5. Assess what steps to take
Each situation of this nature is different. Therefore, you have to ask a few questions:
- Did the person get caught, or did they confess?
- Are they looking for help or resisting it?
- Are they humble and repentant, or are they prideful and avoidant?
Once you determine the nature of the moral failing, you can then ascertain what specific steps may be needed to help the individual. For example, do they need to step down from their position? Can they remain on the team but complete specific healing steps? There are many potential directions that can only be assessed on a case-by-case basis.
6. Communicate clearly and often
One question that often presents itself when a ministry leader has experienced this is, “What do we tell the people? How much should we say?” The tendency would be to cover as much as possible in order to protect the person, but the truth will eventually surface even if you conceal it. This doesn’t mean everything must be shared, but willingly and openly share what is needed. People are far more willing to provide grace and forgiveness when things are fully brought to light than if they feel deceived and left in the dark.
Not only do you want to communicate clearly, but also frequently. One mistake many churches make is they will have initial communication but then never update beyond that. People don’t need all of the nitty-gritty details of someone else’s situation, but if there are important or significant updates or changes, offer them as you can.
7. Take ownership
If you, as the leader, make missteps along the way, be willing to own them. People will have an understanding of your missteps when you own them. No matter how much you plan or prepare to walk through these moments as a leader, you will never handle things perfectly. Handle your own mistakes or misses on the journey. People really respect that.
8. Self-reflect and encourage others to do the same
Whenever someone falls morally, it’s easy to judge and see how you would never do that. But the reality is, Romans 3:23 says that we all sin “…and fall short of the glory of God.” Allow these moments to produce a self-reflection of your own heart and life. Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I have similar stumbling blocks that I keep tripping over?
- Have I allowed compromise in my own life?
- What, if anything, do I need to adjust in my life today?
- Do I have a trusted person that I would give full permission to speak into my life if something is off? If not, why?
9. Give your team space to grieve and process
Anytime there is a moral failing on a ministry team, more people are impacted than just the person who made the mistake. Others on the team may feel a sense of betrayal or loss from the situation. Transitions are never easy and can take their toll as well. While it may not impact them directly, give the team the space to process and grieve the effects it has had on them. Allow for open and honest conversation within the team because this will provide the opportunity for trust and honesty in future situations.
10. Don’t rush to make decisions
You will feel the pressure to make quick decisions. Fill the position. Move forward. Act quickly. Take your time to evaluate these things. How do we really need to move forward? Think about what may need to be done differently in the future to help avoid these kinds of moral failings (if applicable). Are there things that need to be put in place to check in with the team more effectively? How do we build better accountability? These are just some of the many questions you can ask yourself. Don’t rush forward, but take a deep breath, talk with trusted voices, and allow God to speak into the situation.
While these moments are the ones that all of us hope to never experience, they have the ability to produce change in our personal lives and in the lives of people on our team. If one person’s mistake causes another to turn the other way and change, it isn’t a complete loss. So, when dealing with moral failings on your ministry team, bring love to the situation. Fight hard to navigate the situation with as much integrity and grace as possible. Lastly, allow those on your team to openly talk about how they feel and are impacted by the experience. Make a safe space for vulnerability so that others on the team can experience freedom before they fall into traps.
